Tips for hosts
You don’t need to be an expert to host Menopause Over Martinis*. You might not have any symptoms yet, you might be in the thick of it or you might be out the other side. You might not be going through menopause/te ruahinetanga yourself but might want to learn how you can support someone who is. The most important thing is that you have time to share your dinner table and an interest in starting a conversation about a subject which is too often taboo.
Who makes a good host or guest?
Anyone of any age interested in the various stages of menopause, and how to support women/wāhine along the way. It’s really valuable to invite people of different ages and from different generations.
How many guests are best?
It depends on the size of your dinner table but hosting 6 to 10 guests will allow you to keep the conversation as a whole. When one person is talking, everyone else listens. This is important so people don’t miss out on valuable questions, answers or stories.
On the day:
Set your table
It works best if the evening feels simple and relaxed. Not everyone will want to drink martinis but it’s fun to have some martini glasses available anyway. Explore some 2nd hand shops or ask some guests to bring some if you’re short.
Welcome your guests
Hosting shouldn’t feel like a big job so let guests know where they can find a glass and that they are welcome to pour themselves a drink. It’s best to explain the basics below once everyone has arrived.
Explain the basics
Some simple guidelines to help you and your guests make the most of your time together:
Keep the conversation as a whole. When one person is talking, everyone else listens. That way no one misses out on valuable questions, knowledge or stories.
Stay on topic. Everyone has come together to talk about menopause and midlife. Best save your latest thoughts about other things for another time.
Be open. Ask questions. That’s the point of coming together. There’s no pressure to share more than you feel comfortable with but the more you share, the more others can learn.
Respect difference and privacy. Everyone experiences menopause/te ruahinetanga differently. Respect other guests’ experiences without making any hard-sells about solutions or remedies. And because it’s a small world, after the dinner, of course you’re welcome to share what you’ve learned with friends, family, colleagues etc but please respect the privacy of other guests by not mentioning a host’s or guest’s name in relation to a particular experience they might have shared.
Take a seat and start the conversation
As the host, to get things rolling, offer to introduce yourself first. It’s useful to remind guests of your age/stage and why you wanted to host Menopause Over Martinis*.
Ask who would like to introduce themselves next. Some guests may have forgotten people’s names from five minutes ago - this is a common symptom of perimenopause! It’s useful for everyone to explain why they were interested in attending the dinner, what stage of menopause they are at (pre/peri/post), how old they are (so that other guests can learn about the huge range of ages) and what their experience has been so far.
People can pitch in with their knowledge or ask questions along the way. When the timing feels right, someone else can introduce themselves and so it goes. The order of things tends to flow naturally based on where the last guest finished.
Say thanks
It can take courage for some people to ask questions and share their experiences so it’s nice to thank them when they’ve finished, before the next guest introduces themselves.
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